Who ate my cheeseburger?
by Lu-na-oh
Summary: A crack fic about Shabranigdu and Rezo living as roommates. Needless to say, they don't get along too well. Hilarity ensues.


A tall man clad in red robes was banging at a door labelled WC.

"Come out already! You've been in there for hours!" he shouted

"Yeah yeah, just a minute!" A gruff voice from the other side of the door answered

A few moments later, the door opened and Ruby eyes Shabranigdu walked out accompanied with water steam

"What is it?" He growled

Rezo crossed his arms: "I'd appreciate you not thinking of the bathroom as your personal territory."

"Whatever." Shabranigdu replied and tried to make his way to the main before the priest would notice-

"Wait! What's that smell?"

The dark lord froze to his steps. "What smell?"

"That flowery...wait, don't tell me..." Rezo said, his expression devious "...you're using perfume?"

"It's not perfume!" Shabranigdu said, his face turning even redder than it normally is "If you really must know, it's cologne. I have a date tonight."

"Really? With whom?"

"Mind your own business!"

"Still," The red priest said, looking thoughtful, "The smell of your cologne is somewhat...girly..."

"You're one to talk, mister 'my hair is my life'" The dark lord snapped, referring to the various hair care products his roommate stored in the bathroom.

"True, but..."

"And you're wearing a dress"

Rezo sighed "For the last time, it's not a dress, it's a clerical-"

"Keep telling yourself that" Shabranigdu grinned and headed towards the kitchen

"Oh, by the way, we're out of hot water." He stated casually, leaving the red priest to start the day with a nice ice-cold shower.

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Ladies and gentleman, Loony-productions now present you:

**Who ate my cheeseburger?**

The worst sitcom pilot in existence

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"I'm back!"

Rezo didn't even bother to turn. "Already? I thought you were supposed to be on a date."

The dark lord walked to the joined kitchen-living room "Yeah, but it didn't go as planned."

"Oh, I'm sorry." The priest replied and focused his attention to his video game again.

"Do you want to know what her excuse was?" Shabranigdu asked bitterly

"Not really." Rezo said and continued playing

Shabranigdu ignored his reply "She said we're too different, like from completely different races."

"I assume that statement wasn't exactly off the mark" The red priest replied, still trying to concentrate on the game,

"Yeah, I guess you're right. But how can you know whether it'll work or not if you don't give it a shot." He stared silently at the TV screen for a while, before saying: "Hey, turn that thing off. Days of Our Lives is coming!"

This time Rezo did turn his head, his sightless gaze hitting Shabranigdu. "I thought you already watched it today."

"No, I missed it. It's a re-run. Anyway, my date sucked and I want to do something fun to compensate."

"But I'm in a middle of a game!"

"Well, save it then. How can you even play video games at the first place?" He said, staring in amazement how his blind roommate manoeuvred the racing bird with impeccable precision.

"I don't know. I just press the buttons and seem to advance. Kind of funny, really." Rezo said, while continuing to flawlessly play the game

The dark lord was becoming more irritated by the second. "Whatever just save it now! Mike told Claire he has a terminal disease and I want to now what's going to happen!"

The priest wondered for a while what on earth his roommate was talking about, before remembering the soap opera. "But didn't those episodes come out already years ago?" he asked.

"Yeah, well...hey, isn't that a save point?" Shabranigdu swiftly changed the subject.

"What is, now?"

"That blue shining thing!"

"I'm pretty sure it's not."

"That blue shining thing that says 'save' when you touch it?!?"

"I believe it's just a part of the scenery."

Shabranigdu gave up. If Rezo didn't want to stop playing, there was no way in hell he would stop playing. Once, unaware of the consequences, he had unplugged the console and had driven the Red priest into a massive fit of rage. A lot of things had broken. Mostly Shabranigdu's. You might be a dark lord, but that doesn't make collecting all the Digimon DVD's any easier, and he most certainly didn't want to risk having to do get them all again. Instead of finding out Claire's reaction to Mike's terminal disease, he decided to have a snack. He walked to the fridge, carefully opened it and looked for something tasty. In a few seconds, he noticed something was missing.

"REZOOOOO?"

"Yes?" the priest replied, still concentrating on the game as the pissed off dark lord stomped to the cough.

"Do you have any idea what happened to that cheeseburger I had been saving?" Shabranigdu growled, trying hard to control his anger.

"A cheeseburger? Yes, I think I ate one as a snack this afternoon."

"WHAT? YOU ate MY cheeseburger?!?" Shabranigdu cried incredulously, turning redder and redder every second

Rezo, becoming worried, tried to explain: "Well, it didn't have a name tag or anything-"

"Yes it did!"

"Oh, I guess I didn't see it..."

"Don't try pulling that 'I'm blind'-act! It had my name on it in Braille as well!!" Shabranigdu screamed in anger

"Oh dear." Rezo said, starting to sweat. "Well, if it makes you feel any better, I can buy you a new one. Besides, the burger wasn't even that good. Too much mayonnaise..."

At this notion Shabranigdu started shaking with rage. He lowered his face to Rezo's eye level: "I. Like. MAYONNAISE!!" He screamed right into Rezo's face. Then he calmed down. Still huffing, he turned and returned to kitchen.

"Whatever, I'll just order some pizza. They're better than burgers anyway." He said, grabbing the phone.

Rezo, relieved and surprised by Shabranigdu's sudden calming down, said: "That's true. What kind of will you get?"

Shabranigdu pondered for a while "I think I'll have a Tropicana. And one with Kebab. And one with a lot of cheese. And two with mincemeat. All family size. Oh, and two bottles of Coke

Rezo sweatdropped. "Sounds expensive."

"Yeah, but it doesn't matter since you're the one paying."

"Hey!" he tried to protest

Shabranigdu glared at him "What was that, now?"

Rezo sighed. "Nothing." Then he turned and continued playing.

**The end.**

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A/N: First of all, I know this was incredibly silly. It was supposed to be. Hope you found it to be some amusement. Reviews are appreciated but not necessary. Thank you for reading!

Disclaimer: Do you really think I own the Slayers or any of its characters? Think again! I wish I did, but I don't...


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